anderson silva

Anderson Silva’s Penis is Still Not Working

November 10th, 2017 by Mike Coughlin




Anderson Silva should sue God. If you were given a penis as defective as Silva’s, you’d demand a refund too, so don’t dismiss his as some half-baked scheme.


See, what had happened was … he popped for PEDs again. He’s off the Shanghai show and Kelvin Gastelum will need a new opponent. That sucks. It also sucks to be Chinese, though that’s kind of a constant in the life of a Chinaman.



I mean, it’s either he has a dick that quit, necessitating the use of Thai Penis Pills like last time (and like Jon Jones), or he got some bad coke … also like Jon Jones. Surely, he’s not a cheater, right?


This is what the UFC said about his broken cock and balls:


The UFC organization was notified today that the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) has informed Anderson Silva of a potential Anti-Doping Policy violation stemming from an out-of-competition sample collected on October 26, 2017. As a result, Silva has been provisionally suspended by USADA. Due to the proximity of Silva’s upcoming scheduled bout at UFC Fight Night, Shanghai, China on November 25, 2017 against Kelvin Gastelum, Silva has been removed from the card and UFC is currently seeking a replacement.


USADA, the independent administrator of the UFC Anti-Doping Policy, will handle the results management and appropriate adjudication of this case involving Silva. Under the UFC Anti-Doping Policy, there is a full and fair legal process that is afforded to all athletes before any sanctions are imposed. Additional information will be provided at the appropriate time as the process moves forward.

One Response to “Anderson Silva’s Penis is Still Not Working”

November 11, 2017 at 5:55 pm, Michael Bisping is Going to China - said:

[…] know how we said that Anderson Silva’s limp dick and/or coke habit caused him to be pulled from the main-event of UFC Shanghai? And that there […]


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