ufc fight night 95

UFC Fight Night 95: Cyborg vs. Lansberg FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness – UFC FIGHT NIGHT BRAZIL RESULTS & RECAP

September 24th, 2016 by Mike Coughlin

Ginásio Nilson Nelson

Brasília, Brazil, Not-America

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Hey, party people, welcome to our amazing coverage of the show entitled above.  You can read, right?  You can’t?  Well, how are you reading this then, eh, smart guy?!?

 

Oh, you have a helper dog.

 

Wait, that’s not what they do.  Is it?  Anywho, this is our UFC FIGHT NIGHT 95 RESULS & RECAP coverage and PBP and all that.  I hope that’s self evident by now.  If not … man, you should enroll in a concussion protocol program.  We have one that only costs $50 and can be done online.  Leave a message, I’ll let you know all about it.

 

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ufc fight night 95

UFC Fight Night 95: Cyborg vs. Lansberg FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness – UFC FIGHT NIGHT BRAZIL RESULTS & RECAP

Glaico França vs. Gregor Gillespie

Lightweight

What Happened?

– Franca showing superior boxing in the first, landing a right hand at will and hurting Greg. He’s also stuffing a lot of TD attempts from the D1 Champ.

– Greg finally gets it down and has the back with 90 seconds to go. Franca escaped out the back door. (Anal…)

– Franca tiring as the round ends, leading to a Greg punch that hurt into a TD.

 

– Franca lands a BIG punch. Greg is hurt. Franca flies in with a knee but Greg manages to eat it and get a TD. Damn! Franca stands. They trade a bit with Franca getting the better and Greg shoots in but without success. Finally gets it though. Ends with Franca on bottom.

 

GREG WON, dec.

 

Should You Watch?

Eh..

 

hector-urbina

Vicente Luque vs. Héctor Urbina

Welterweight

What Happened?

– Luque all over Urbana. Drops him. Dead. OVER! Liqueu wins, KO.

 

wrestling-midget-kicked ko

 

Should You Watch?

Si, senor

 

alan-patrick-vs-stevie-ray

Alan Patrick vs. Stevie Ray

Lightweight

What Happened?

– Patrick would take down the former WCW star and do not much but barely enough. He would do this over and over again and then won. PATRICK WINS, dec.

 

Should You Watch?

Never. Heavens no, never.

 

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ufc fight night 95

UFC Fight Night 95: Cyborg vs. Lansberg FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness – UFC FIGHT NIGHT BRAZIL RESULTS & RECAP

erick-silva

Erick Silva vs. Luan Chagas

Welterweight

What Happened?

– Silva dropped by a left early

– Silva drops him with 20 to go. Almost got the finish but the bell rang.

2

– Silva gets kicked in the cock. Ouch. He’s ok though because Brazilian cock is tough.
– Silva doing well, dropping Chagas, pounding, in control.
– They stand. Chagas lands a big strike out of nowhere and drops Silva hard!
– Silva trying to use deep half to sweep.
– Chagas defends, mounts, goes for an armbar but kisses it. Or misses it. One of those two.

3

– Silva dancing and sticking with jabs. Out of nowhere he stuffs a TD, gets the back, CHOKE!

 

Silva wins, R3, sub

 

 

 

Should You Watch?

Sure. It was good clean wholesome fun.

 

dustin-ortiz

Jussier Formiga vs. Dustin Ortiz

Flyweight

What Happened?

– All grappling. Ortiz did well but Formiga was simply better. Again, Ortiz deserves a ton of credit for getting out of and dealing with bad situations. But he was sucked into a grappling match and that wasn’t to his benefit.

 

Formiga wins, dec.

 

Should You Watch?

If you like BJJ, yes. If you don’t, then you’re ok missing it.

 

rani yahya

Rani Yahya vs. Michinori Tanaka

Bantamweight

What Happened?

– All grappling. Ortiz did well but Formiga was simply better. Again, Ortiz deserves a ton of credit for getting out of and dealing with bad situations. But he was sucked into a grappling match and that wasn’t to his benefit.

– Oh. Wait. That’s what I said for the last fight? Well. This was THE EXACT SAME THING!

Rain wins, dec.

 

Should You Watch?

If you like BJJ, yes. If you don’t, then you’re ok missing it.

 

 

gilbert-burns

Gilbert Burns vs. Michel Prazeres

Lightweight

What Happened?

– They fought. It wasn’t bad or good. I didn’t sense one guy did much more than the other. Michel seemed to have a bit of a lead.
Michel . wins, dec.

 

Should You Watch?

Not really

 

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ufc fight night 95

UFC Fight Night 95: Cyborg vs. Lansberg FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness – UFC FIGHT NIGHT BRAZIL RESULTS & RECAP

godofredo-pepey

“TAKE MY BIG BLACK COCK!”

Godofredo Pepey vs. Mike De La Torre

Featherweight

What Happened?

– Crazy swinging here with Pepey landing a ton. He’s hurting Mike here.
– Back take by the Brazilian. He’s in control big time. Choke… no tap!
– Another one and …. TAP!!!

Pepey wins, sub.

 

Tapped out RNC

 

Should You Watch?

Hell yeah!

 

thiago-santos-headkick

Thiago Santos vs. Eric Spicely

Middleweight

What Happened?

– I should mention I really hate crowds in Brazil. They are by far the most bigoted and prejudiced people on earth.
– This was never more clear than in this fight. Spicely won in an amazing first round w a rear naked choke submission. He took him down grabbed the back and sunk in the choke right away. Any other crowd would’ve at least appreciated the beauty of what he did. But the super racist Brazilians were dead quiet. Fuck them.

 

Spicely wins, R1, sub.

 

Tap out

 

Should You Watch?

For sure. Quick and smooth.

 

paul-felder-knocked-out-danny-castillo

Francisco Trinaldo vs. Paul Felder

Lightweight

What Happened?

– It was a good back and forth affair. All on the feet. Neither really dominated.
– Trinaldo landed a trike that cut Felder BAAAAAAAD!
– Just ugly bad. Blood everywhere and in a REALLY dangerous place.
– Ref stopped it in the 3rd due to the cut.
Trinaldo wins, R3, TKO

 

Should You Watch?

If you are bored, this won’t make you hate life. But by tomorrow evening I will probably have forgotten this ever happened.

 

 

roy-nelson

Roy Nelson vs. Antônio Silva

Heavyweight

What Happened?

– For a round and a half, not much happened. Then BOOM!!!!! Nelson killed Silva with a punch. He hit a little GnP to follow up but was clearly hesitant.
– Nelson was angry at Big John for not stopping it and even kicked at John’s ass. That was something.
Nelson wins, R2, KO

 

Hunt ko

 

Should You Watch?

The second round, yes.

 

renan barao

Renan Barão vs. Phillipe Nover

Featherweight

What Happened

– It went all three rounds. More or less what one would call a point fight. Barao was the aggressor and landed more and had more takedowns. He ended up in my opinion beating the nurse to the punch all of the time.
– It was not terribly exciting but the former champion moved up a weight class and one. But he beat a guy who really is not that good. Still he won.

 

Barao wins. Dec.

 

Should You Watch?

Nah. It was lackluster.

 

Cyborg wants to be beautiful

Cristiane CYBORG! Justino vs. Lina Lansberg

Catchweight CYBORGweight (140 lbs)

What Happened?

– This went more than a round! A miracle.
– Cyborg is SOOOO much bigger.
– I was texted: I would not be surprised if a dick fell out of her shorts.

 

2

 

– More of a relentless beating from Cyborg. She has dropped her. This is brutal ground and pound. Now it is all over!!!

 

Cyborg wins, R2, TKO

 

 

UFC KO

 

Should You Watch?

Yes. This was what you’did expected would happen.

 

brazilian-woman

Quick & Dirty UFC Fight Night 95: Cyborg vs. Lansberg FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness – UFC FIGHT NIGHT BRAZIL RESULTS & RECAP

(Winner in Bold)

  • Glaico França vs. Gregor Gillespie – Lightweight
  • Vicente Luque vs. Héctor Urbina – Welterweight
  • Alan Patrick vs. Stevie Ray – Lightweight

  • Erick Silva vs. Luan Chagas – Welterweight
  • Jussier Formiga vs. Dustin Ortiz – Flyweight
  • Rani Yahya vs. Michinori Tanaka – Bantamweight
  • Gilbert Burns vs. Michel Prazeres – Lightweight

  • Godofredo Pepey vs. Mike De La Torre – Featherweight
  • Thiago Santos vs. Eric Spicely – Middleweight
  • Francisco Trinaldo vs. Paul Felder – Lightweight
  • Roy Nelson vs. Antônio Silva – Heavyweight
  • Renan Barão vs. Phillipe Nover – Featherweight
  • Cristiane CYBORG! Justino vs. Lina Lansberg – Catchweight (140 lbs)

 

 

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