Shooto Brazil 57 Results and Recap because why not?

@MichaelCoughlin @HalfGuarded

There’s a Shooto Brazil show creatively entitled Shooto Brazil 57 airing on UFC Fight Pass right now. As there’s nothing else going on at the moment, we figure we’ll cover it. Oh, this won’t be good or great or anything like that – it’s a SHOOTO BRAZIL show – but it’s better than nothing. Oh, mind you, these will be in and out as I search for ~~Spock~~ something else to watch. Enjoy the Shooto Brazil 57 results and coverage that you get for free. You ungrateful monsters.

Robson Moura (135.4) vs. Aelson Santos dos Santos (135.6)

This starts things off. Moura is a super grappler and has dominated so far through two rounds using his superior grappling. Third round sees Robson on his back looking for a stand up or to stall. Robson immediately looking for a takedown off a clinch. 90 seconds to go for Arson (that’s funnier sounding).
WINNER: DRAW … lol

“It’s a girl fight…” not the most progressive way to refer to things but ok.

Anne Ferreira (105.4) vs. Maria Oliveira Mota (105.4)

Anne with an immediate takedown and she’s on a different level here. Mount. Armbar and it’s over with ease.
WINNER: FERREIRA, R1, sub

There are a lot of fights on this show and … bless Cruz but “…he … worked in a clothing store…. He hates it so much he’s rather fight another human being.”

Kaua Fernandes (135.6) vs. Luan DANGER Matheus (135.1)

Kaua gets taken down and no Danger is in … danger. Kaua beautifully takes the back in a smooth transition. Looking for the choke but no go. Mount. They stand off a scramble. Danger does damage w each strike he lands. Real natural power. Both exchange in the pocket. Danger swarming. Oh! Kaua w a leaping left hook that connects. Mother fuck good first round.

Kaua with an easy TD of Danger. Danger holding a guillotine pointlessly while he’s on bottom. Scramble. Kaua behind and now a nice TD but the momentum allowed Danger to sweep. Both tired but Kaua more tired. Still his technique is better and as such he ducks behind, hops on the back, hooks, and gets the choke!!
WINNER: FERNANDES, R2, sub

“Fighting is a way of life in Brazil.” Lol, one guy has a picture with him and all anyone can say is, “uh, sure, probably a family member…. Jesus has his back, I’m sure.”

Marcio da Costa Jr. (134.7) vs. Victor Enrique (135.1)

Victor charging like he’s John Hess. And he’s taken down as a result. Marcio just hitting with pitter patter stuff. Stand up. Big slam by Mario Brother Brazil. Back take and choke. Deep and he’s out but … the bell sounds. Marcio’s corner trying to pretend like it’s over. I guess it isn’t.

Immediate TD by Luigi’s bro. Victor with a sweep with a kimura and ouch, ugh, that could be it. But twas not to be. Now Mario gets the back. Mount. Back. Punching. Mount. Back. Choke. Tap!
WINNER: MARCIO COSTA JR, R2, sub

His name/nickname is … “X.” Huh. They originally said Speed was 115 years old. And he’s out to Dropkick Murphys because this show is weird.

Ronaico Marinho X (115.3) vs. Leo Speed (114.9)

X shoots quickly, overwhelming Speed. Now X has quickly passed Speed’s guard. Very quick short elbows landing on Speed’s head. X mounts and gets a very quick armbar off a transition.

WINNER: X, R1, sub

Jose Claudio Vieira da Silva (136.5) vs. Julio Cesar (134.9)

Julio jumps to a guillotine and gets it ASAP.
Winner: Julio Cesar not Chavez, R1, sub

Eliandro Libania (148.8) vs. Rafael Santana Mota (151.9)

Libania drops him early with a strike. Punching. Slowly works his way to take the back. Gets the choke. Done.

WINNER: Libania, R1, Sub

Carlos Eduardo de Oliveira (125.4) vs. Eric dos Santos (125.9)

Not only are they teammates they’re also lovers. Maybe a lie. Both just fighting in clinch but Eric with a slam so powerful you felt it only in your imagination. Stand w Eric behind kneeing – he’s using his knee as a penis and he’s trying to Patrick Kane Carlos. Not much to this round besides my good rape joke.

Round two is ass boring. Clinch and nothing. Like an attempted prison rape but they’re both afraid while also being horny. I wish ill on them both.

Carlos catches a kick and hits a punch that looked cool but Eric then rolled out of it right away. 3 minutes until this ends. Carlos kicking the legs more now. THE ENTIRE FIGHT MAY BE AT STAKE!!!!! Sigh. TD but Eric. Fuck your, Carlos. Fuck them both. Just doing nothing here inside the guard. A forced stand up.

Winner: Eric dos Santos, dec

Zeilton Rodrigues (134.9) vs. Leonardo Navi (134.3)

This better be better… DAMMIT TO SHIT!!! They’re just circling and pawing and doing nothing. Fighting culture, my ass. Zeilton more aggressive now, pumping in a jab, throwing kicks. He’s seemed to have found his distance as he lands several isolated right hands.

A big storm in Brazil has knocked out the feed. Really.

We are back. Navi is on top randomly and no one knows how. Wait. Feed gone. Back. Gone. REALLY gone now.

Back for round three. I think my dog wants a walk. He’s giving me a look like he’s restless. Silly puggle doesn’t understand the importance of covering such a historic event. They’re playing patty cake. Navi got a TD so I guess that’ll win him the fight. Navi had the back with 90 seconds remaining in this garbage fest. Nope. Scramble and somehow Zeilton ended up jumping to a guillotine, arm in, probably not gonna happen.

WINNER: Zeilton, dec

Leo Jacare vs. Eliel Dourado

Someone is nicknamed Jacare, I think it’s Leo. It is. Punt to the cock early. Jacare lands a big right hand that hurt El Dorado. TD. Leo on top. Heavy GNP now. Stand and now El Dorado gets the TD. Solid round.

Just one strike after another from both with all their power. Jacare ducks for a TD and follows it w GNP. Brief stand up but Jacare ate a knee so he could get the slam. El Dorado with a fuck you slam after they stand. Scramble. Jacare on top.

Feeling out and then a big slam from Jacare. GNP now a stand up. Else Dorado does a slam but scrambles like a spastic (can we still use that one?) and Jacare is on top.

WINNER: Jacare, dec

Bruno Suema (125) vs. Ronaldo Candido de Oliveira (125)

Main event time. Candido immediately rushes in for a TD. He’s picturing his post-fight win on a Sunny beach. Candido beautifully takes the back while he had a leg mount (look it up). Very smooth. Punching away at will. Armbar attempt now by Candido. No good.

Candido uses his hands to easily set up a TD. This is a walk away win for Candido so far. Total positioning domination by Candido. Yawn.

TD by Candido. Mount. Grabs. guilltotine. Tap

WINNER: Candido, R3, sub