Firemen are the Last Heroes We Have

Saying that firemen are heroes is a bit of a no brainer. Sure, they get paid, but their job is to literally run into burning buildings and save someone’s life (and sometimes they get cats out of trees). They have these ridiculous shifts, where they work like 50 hours in a row or something, have to wear all this heavy gear, and again: their work day involves running towards fire. I had a papercut the other day, accidentally used an alcohol based hand sanitizer, and nearly cried. Firemen are not like us (or me, at least). They’re the last heroes we have left.

Every other job sucks these days. Cop? Nope. They’re all racists who shoot black kids for fun or frame Wisconsin white trash.

Teachers? Half the kids don’t know how to read, they bitch about working only nine months a year, and have one of the few jobs where they can say, “Fuck it, I’ll put on a movie” and that’s OK.

Lawyers? Scum sucking bottom feeders.

Doctors? They abuse drugs and cover up each other’s negligence left and right. Everyone in a hospital knows which doctor sucks but no one says anything lest the lawyers actually *gasp* prove them to be shitty at their job! And thus people die.

Priests? Too easy.

All of the old professions that were once respected have some dark cloud hanging over them. Is it fair? Not really. There are a lot of good cops who were born in their community, still live there, and wake up every day hoping they can make things a little safer. Many teachers are working on shoe string budgets with kids whose parents don’t give a shit. Lawyers suck until they’re the ones who free you from jail. Doctors can literally help the lame walk. And most priests aren’t molesting kids and have historically been the ones to heal the sick, clothe the poor, and feed the hungry.

Despite life not being fair, still no one hates firemen. Women think they’re sexy, what with the calendars and such. And there isn’t anything they can really do as a whole that will ever diminish their reputation. Now, they aren’t perfect. There’s a higher rate of arsonists within the profession as compared to, say, liberal arts professors, but no one really thinks all firemen are arsonists.

If you’re the poorest, most abused, taken advantage of, beaten down, black kid on earth and a fireman shows up, you’re not scared. You don’t start wondering, “Are they going to shoot me? Screw me at trial? Molest me? Use me for drug experiments?” You think, “Yes! My shit might be saved!” All of us think that. Because firemen are heroes.

One day, things will change because everything always changes. The tide will turn, cops will be liked again, doctors won’t be feared because they’ll have figured out a way to make needles not hurt, and priests will at times be the calming presence they’ve been throughout the ages. Then, it’ll go back and we’ll all hate them again. But never firemen. We’ll always love them.

Hail to the firemen – the last heroes.