Jon Jones had been quiet. He hadn’t trolled Cormier in a while. He hadn’t posted something to Instagram then immediately taken it down. He was quiet. Too quiet.
Jones appeared on Joe Rogan’s podcast. The entire show is an absolute must-listen if there ever was a show. If you’ve wondered if all this time away from the sport has changed Jones, don’t. Oh, he’ll tell you it has. Just as he has time and time again but he’s the same dude. Oblivious in all aspects of life.
I’ve pulled some of the more … memorable … quotes from the show. Note in advance: some are verbatim and some are as close to as I could get while giddily listening.
Jones starts the show talking about his sperm. He wants to get a procedure done where they take his sperm and then guarantee that he can have a boy. He has FOUR GIRLS and is tired of it. You could hear the sadness in his voice when he essentially opined that he doesn’t want to risk having another girl. He says he heard Kanye did this.
Why doesn’t he have a son? Because he wasn’t mature enough to raise a man. He thinks that when he’s ready, GOD will give him a boy. (No comment from God on this, for the record). What’s a sign of maturity? Getting married. Do recall that he’s been engaged for like a decade, has four kids, thinks that he’ll finally get a son if he gets married and … hasn’t committed.
Talking about when he ran into a pregnant woman and ran away. Says he didn’t come back for money. “Why would a millionaire need a few grand?” Says he ran back to get his weed but couldn’t find it so he booked. He’d been staying at a friend’s house after partying but was sober when he drove. Nonetheless:
“I knew I still smelled like alcohol and if the police came it would look bad so I ran.”
We have this exchange:
Rogan: “What was the reaction from your family and friends?”
Jones: “Surprisingly supportive … I’ve had a lot of people tell me I need to get my shit together over the years.”
One of those people? HIS GARBAGE MAN!
“Everybody thinks they have the right to tell me what to do … but I humbly accept it. But just bc my shit is public doesn’t mean you’re better than me.”
“I would get black out drunk a week before all my fights [so I’d have an excuse if I lose].”
Then he just paused, waiting for Joe to go “Whoa. That’s crazy.” Or something. But it was just pure silence.
“… so. Yeah. I’d do that.”
This I believe. It’s also amazing he treated his body like crap and still did what he did. Conor McGregor flies to Vegas three weeks early to acclimate to the different air; Jon Jones gets wasted.
Talking about doing too much weight lifting. And all this stuff about it hurting endurance and stuff. Then:
“… but I did break his arm w a kick!”
“I felt good bc I was squatting 500 lbs w skinny legs and there were guys there that had been lifting for years and couldn’t do that so I thought I could do anything.”
He’s totally clean and sober now. 16 months.
“Now fitness is my drug!”
“What do you do to keep focused? What do you write down that you say you stand for?”
“Uh. Well. Little things. Just … little things. I’d have to check my phone.”
“Do you think you’re done w drugs?”
“I do think I’ll drink one day.”
“Being sober so long now I know I can have just one drink and be ok … and take an uber home. So I can have a drink in the future if I want to celebrate.”
“I can do it and not crash a Bentley into a pole” and he literally half snickered at the last part.
“When you drive into a pregnant woman then you have a problem. But I don’t have one now.”
I think he thinks alcoholism is like breaking a bone: you fix it and then it’s all better.
“I’d forget that I was a celebrity and I wouldn’t hold myself to a higher standard. Because I’m just an average joe”
“I pride myself in doing normal shit. Going to places. BEING AMONGST THE PEOPLE!”
“When the pressure ramps back up. And the fame is back. What will you use as an escape valve?”
“Have you thought about that?”
“No. I really haven’t.”
“Well. That’s important.”
“I just think I’m above that now.”
“I feel like all the great things I’m going to do will be even greater now.”
He’s so clearly high throughout. I can hear the subtle little lifting of his voice at the end of sentences where he’s pot goofy but is trying to hide it.
Other athletes have done worse. Rape. Murder. He hasn’t. THAT’S HIS STANDARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOUR!
“Why did you need to take an off label cialis?”
“I have a big cock Joe”
Then he laughed the laugh you laugh when you’re high.
“I’ve taken gas station dick pills before.”
Jon Jones is worth millions.
When he tested positive in July, they were going over everything when someone (I think a lawyer) chimed in:
“‘Did you take anything else? Think outside the box.’ Well… a teammate gave me this dick pill.”
“I thought they’d just make you longer, harder, faster, and bigger.”
They finally close, more or less, on the fact that Jackson’s Gym expanded and it’s not ONLY high level fighters. They have non-pros now. Jones didn’t sound cool with it.
“I’m happy for them as long as they don’t get in my way.”
Seriously as all seriousness: GO LISTEN TO ALL OF IT!!!