Optometrists to Change perfect vision term from 20/20 as 2020 election of Oprah vs The Rock shows the worst possible vision a nation could have

January 10th, 2018 by Chris Najdek

Washington DC



As it becomes clearer that the year 2020, (which will undoubtedly have reference after reference to it being the clearest visionary year in our nations history by unclever news outlets across the country) will be headlines by Oprah and The Rock campaigning to be president of the United States, optometrists want nothing to do with that measure for perfect eyesight ever again.


Dr. Hanberry Mockufoks, one of the countries leading eye doctors told halfgaurded that the term 20/20 will forever be ruined by a year when Oprah Winfrey and The Rock will be running for president of our great nation.


“It’s just fucking stupid. A talk show host and a former professional wrestler are going to run for president?!?!? Seriously just fuck off with that!” Said Dr Mockufoks


The new term for perfect eyesight will be “splendid” as in “Mr Jones you have splendid vision.”


Splendid is an often forgotten word and I think it’s finally getting it’s just due. If I’m being truthful this entire packaging of this article was just to get the word splendid out there. So why not jump on the backs of the worlds biggest movie star and the wealthiest television personality of all time?


I don’t really care if they run, hell I’m banking on it. They’ll never be a shortage of material.


I mean Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will be the first ever presidential candidate to have had gynecomastia surgery. Yes BITCH TIT REMOVAL DUE TO YEARS OF “alleged” steroid use.


“Ask me about NAFTA.”


Then Oprah has the chance to be the first female/African American female/lesbian? I know “Alleged” president of the United States!?!?! Are you shitting me?


What could be better? Hulk Hogan vs Maury Povich?!?! John Cena vs The Gay British Guy from the late late show? I almost forgot “alleged”…but he’s clearly pretty gay…


Strap on people (Oprah does) and just ride the wave that will be the 2020 election, it will be absolutely splendid!!!!!


Associated Parodies

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *