Seattle WA,
In an ongoing effort to ease racial tension and bridge the gap between the Black and White communities, Starbucks will be releasing a new flavor aimed specifically at African American coffee drinkers to accompany the Pumpkin Spice Latte on its Fall and Holiday menus this year. The Sweet Potato Pie Latte will debut this fall as an option that’s sure to please even the most disgruntled of African Americans.
“The Pumpkin Spice Latte has been a staple of the basic white bitch’s autumn diet for a while now and we’re very proud of that.” Said a very white Starbucks spokesperson.
He continued, rather uncomfortably, “Now we are outcheer wit dat Sweet Potato Pie latte y’all”
Starbucks will be launching the campaign with the slogan “Sweet Potato Pie Latte, make sure you keep that thang on ya!”
We interviewed some customers at a local Starbucks to gage the reaction of white and black patrons alike.
“I mean like, I’m all for diversity and stuff but like, why don’t they just like, like pumpkin spice? It’s totes delish! Potatoes are gross and totally not keto, they should maybe just sell them at like the black Starbucks that Magic Jordan, or some basketball player owns and stuff.” Said Becky
“Hell yeah it’s about damn time they make something for the real ones out here. Ain’t nobody like pumpkins anyway, you ever just eat a slice of pumpkin? Hell no!!! Cause that shit’s nasty. These white bitches better stop cryin!” Said A woman who demanded to be referred to as “Lil TeeTee” because “I don’t trust yo white ass with my government name.”
The coffee giant isn’t stopping there however, customers can get their sweet potato pie latte with an extra shot of Hennessy for a small up-charge.
In a never ending effort to make it up to white people, they will also be releasing the new Mint Mayo Chocolate Chip Frappuccino.
Not to be left out, the Latino community will have the new Arroz Con Leche Macchiato (only available hot, no ICE) this holiday season.
Other jokes I decided to leave out of this article were the Curry Spice Latte and the Teriyaki Green Tea Spicy Tuna Frap.
