Washington D.C.-
The decades long conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked can finally be put to rest because our President was there, on the moon, to witness it.
Donald J. Trump, also known as “Buzz Whitefear” addressed the media by saying we absolutely made it to the moon because “I was there, I wouldn’t call myself an astronaut, but I wouldn’t not call myself an astronaut either. I’m really smart.”
The President went on to say that the reason we haven’t inhabited the moon is the deplorable conditions caused by Rep. Elijah Cummings’s inability to ignore criminal activity and racism in the White House.
Trump described the moon as “infested with dirt and rocks.” Adding the temperature is unstable and jumps from -280 degrees when the sun isn’t facing it, to 260 degrees when the sun is facing it which he blames on Former President Barack Obama.
“The sun was doing well on the moon until Obama got into office. The moon is just like the White House air conditioning, Obama ruined the sun.” Trump told reporters
He finished off this day by promising the Space Force will have us back on the moon by 2020 and Mexico will pay for it. He added that the days of “poor moon management” were over and if re-elected in 2020 the moon will go back to being made out of cheese like it was when he was a boy.
He later tweeted:
“Rep. Cummings has stolen all of the cheese off the moon. WHERE’S the cheese?!?! Rats like cheese, his district has rats, YOU do the math!!! Where do you think that government cheese comes from that the Blacks love so much?!? Black unemployment is SO LOW that Asians are losing jobs, and those people love jobs!!”
