@chris_najdek
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Washington D.C.-
In a gathering on the White House lawn, President Trump’s impeachment meltdown continued as he attacked democrats with his most shocking accusation yet.
“You know I’ve been watching that show on Disney Plus, The Mandarin, and I see this cute little baby and it turns out it’s Baby Yoda. So cute and full of life and you wanna know something? If the Democrats ran Star Wars they would have aborted Baby Yoda in the 27th trimester!”
A stunned press core asked him how he could say something like that when nobody even knows how long Jedi pregnancies last.
“It’s simple. If Yoda was 900, like Nancy Pelosi, I’m funny, that means he lives 10 times as long as we do and instead of 9 months, they carry for 90 months. It’s simple math and I’m the best with math and numbers. Much better than Andrew Yang even though he’s some type of Asian.”
One reporter asked Trump to explain why he’s making such a claim.
“If these do nothing dems are willing to impeach me, the greatest man who’s ever lived, the greatest president of all time, and a WWE Hall of Famer, then they would definitely murder this baby with an electric cake mixer. I’ve seen it done, they use a cake mixer. So if you don’t want to see Baby Yoda turned into a green smoothie, you better let them know not to go on with this silly impeachment.”
He went on, as he always does.
“So if they kill Baby Yoda, there’s never an Adult Yoda and never a Star Wars, cause he doesn’t exist and he never teaches Spock how to kill people with his fingers. I know how to do that by the way. I’m very highly trained and it’s top secret, I can’t show you guys yet, maybe tomorrow.”
