Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico
Ladies and Germs, welcome to our ongoing coverage that we have cleverly entitled: UFC Fight Night 78 FREE LIVE STREAM of Consciousness RECAP and RESULTS. Boom, Hi, Google! We’ll be doing the blow by blow, live as it happens. (Sorry we missed the live PBP last night but someone was at a wedding.)(Me.)(Yes, I did. HIGH FIVE!) The main-event fell through, but who gives a shit? Brown vs Gastelum? Eh. Lamas vs Sanchez is basically a bigger fight anyways. Oh, but we got NEIL FUCKING MAGNY now… yip. Sigh. Cejudo vs Formiga could set up Mighty Mouse’s next challenger though. That’s good. And I know that the UFC wants to market things towards specific market but everyone’s name is Hispanic. That’s probably good because it means no big fat white boy heavyweights! YAY! As always, the Quick & Dirty results will be at the bottom for those who don’t care what I have to say. (Shame.)
- Gabriel Benitez vs. Andre Fili
Fili came out and wrecked him. Landed a picture perfect head kick. Followed it up with a barrage of punches. Best he’s ever looked.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Fili d. Benitez, KO OF DEATH!
- Scott Jorgensen vs. Alejandro Perez
First round was Jorgensen pressing, doing a good job of cutting off the cage, getting an occasional takedown. Perez kept his cool and landed a leg kick at the end that looked like it fucked his leg somehow.
Round two and yeah, he’s fucked up. Bad. Can barely stand and this stupid ass ref isn’t stopping it. Scott though seems like he’s maybe recovering. Cramp? I dunno. He’s getting picked apart. His ankle looks like it’s flopping at times. I mean, he’s tough as hell but damn. Ref finally stops it.
OFFICIAL RESULT: PEREZ d. JORGENSEN, R2, TKO
- Bartosz Fabinski vs. Hector Urbina
Bart took him down in ten seconds and started pounding. And that’s just kept happening all round. LOOK AT THAT INSIGHT!!!
Same thing in round two except Hector tried a kimura that failed. Just smother GnP. Yeah. It sucks. Though near the end Hector did get the saddest sweep ever.
Round three? Same fucking thing. Fuck these guys.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Fabinski d. Urbana, dec (crap)
- Taylor Lapilus vs. Erik Perez
Taylor showing a lot here. In and out. Moving a lot. Landing shots and getting out of the way of counters. Perez is chasing too much though by the end of the round he’d found a bit of success.
Started the same then it looked like Lapilus clipped Perez. He dove on a guilltotine but didn’t get it. Rest of the round was Perez on top pounding.
Perez got a takedown and Lapilus kept trying a kimura but failed. They has a sad scramble where no one got position. Perez got a takedown with about 90 seconds remaining and pounded and likely secured the fight.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Perez d. Lapilus, dec
- Efrain Escudero vs. Leandro Silva
Apologies. We had technical difficulties here. 🙁 But, I’m back now and switching persons and tenses like a boss! Also: YAY NEXT FIGHT! (Also, seriously, none of you care about TUF Not-America.)
- Henry Cejudo vs. Jussier Formiga
Cejudo circling early, jabbing to keep distance and occasionally throwing a heavy 1-2. Obviously a gold medal in wrestling helps a man but Formiga is a stud on the mat so Henry obvs wants to avoid that. Formiga’s trunks look ridiculous – it legit looks like his name is a bumper sticker slapped on. More isolated shots from Cejudo. Formiga briefly clinches and gets off some decent knees. Big right hand from Cejudo stunned Formiga. A lot of clinch work from both guys in the center of the cage. Not exciting – boring – but Cejudo established his game. (Including a late takedown he got at will.)
Cejudo more disciplined with his boxing through the early part of round two. Formiga is winging punches, like he’s frustrated. Cejudo looks he actually hasn’t broke a sweat. Formiga isn’t being blown out of the water or anything but Cejudo is just putting in a solid performance. Professsional, as they say. Again, close but it’s still Cejudo’s fight.
Third stanza starts off with them clinching up, center of the steel cage of death, and exchanging knees. Cejudo had easy double underhooks and used them to transition to an even easier BIG takedown. Formiga immediately got up and I didn’t sense that Cejudo was intent on staying down anyways. Bit surprising as Formiga’s BJJ is his strongest advantage. But, alas, that’s life. Still the same repeating pattern from earlier, with Cejudo being tighter with his boxing, keeping his hands high, not overextending himself on punches, while Formiga is throwing Hail Mary punches.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Cejudo d. Formiga, split dec(Formiga could’ve squeaked a round or two, so that’s fair)(I guess)
Not a performance that will have people demanding Cejudo fight Mighty Mouse but he still pretty easily beat another top fighter. He’s undefeated and has a GOLD MEDAL. OOOOOOH!!!!! Or we can watch some anonymous Russian guy no one’s heard of…
Funny how the two men who fought for the Ultimate Fighter ONE middleweight “crown” both ended up at the end of their careers fighting at 145 lbs. Also: how on earth is Diego making 145??? Unrelated, but New Mexico has a cool flag.
- Ricardo Lamas vs. Diego Sanchez
Physically, I’m blown away by how good Diego looks. Better and less drawn here than at LW. Both guys throwing strikes in isolation, “feeling out process” is the cliche, if you will. And you will. Lamas lands a spinning heel kick thingy and it hurt Diego. Lamas looked to swarm but Diego DIEGO’D up and threw back and you could almost sense that Lamas is like, “Fuck me. I’m not doing that shit.” Lamas with a takedown but Diego avoids being put on his ass, with Lamas mostly holding on behind as Diego is up and down. Lamas tried to take the back but Diego immediately reversed and now he’s in on a double. Diego really does have an innate ability to just squirm.
Diego doubled up his jab and landed a good left hook off of it. Lamas responds with a takedown attempt. Diego’s response to that response? He sprawled. Even though he’s actually maybe a little better on the feet, Lamas appears to feel he’s the better wrestler as he’s pressing for the TD. Lamas kicked the ankle of Diego and hurt him. How many guys are gonna be hurt that way tonight? Diego is simply standing still saying, “COME ON!” Lamas punches him in the face. Hard. Sanchez with a switch but Lamas scrambles on top and is back behind in the Doggystyle Position (that’s the official name in amateur wrestling). Diego hits another switch. Lamas though never lets go of a leg and they’re playing some sort of violent twister. Lamas gets the back for a bit. One last kick to the ankle lower leg I dunno area by Lamas hurts Diego as the round comes to a close.
A minute in, Diego lands a nice knee. He’s still in pain whenever he’s kicked though. That said: he’s the one pressing forward. Diego is literally hopping on one leg like the Karate Kid. Now Diego mean mugging yelling COME ON!!! Lamas does not orgasm. Instead, he looks for the takedown. Not sure why as the kicks to that leg are really, really working. Diego is a bloody mess, as is his way. It’s kind of weird fighting him, because he’s not necessarily a one punch threat but you also know that at any moment he may lose his mind and blitz you. Lamas though has done a good job of nullifying every attempt to do so. He’s better at fighting than I am.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Lamas d. Sanchez, dec
… Lamas speaks English. He went to Elmhurst College, which is five minutes away from me – in the suburbs of Chicago. Shakes head at those evil foreigners speaking not-American. (OK, he’s technically American but whatever.)
I once wrote a joking piece about Grown Ups 3 – which obviously hasn’t been announced or anything. Just messing about, mocking Adam Sandler, that type of thing. No joke: it gets A LOT of traffic. The internet is weird.
Am I weird in finding myself having zero interest in Kelvin? He’s been very, very good. Has a ton of potential but I feel nothing towards him.
- Kelvin Gastelum vs. Neil Magny
Kelvin still looks fat. Magny is sticking his jab in Kelvin’s face and almost holding it there. Kelvin throws a few big punches but Magny keeps his head, gets a takedown, tries for the back, but Kelvin immediately hits a switch and now he’s in on a takedown. He hit a lovely throw but Magny based out and held position. Magny mounts. Back take. Looking for the rear naked choke. Magny looks like he’s on a totally different level here. He’s constantly moving and is always aware of where Kelvin is at. He easily is transitioning from mount to back ontrol and back. Magny lets Kelvin up. The round ends. Life moves on. A baby cries.
I should make more science jokes based on Kelvin’s name. He sure is extra accurate to a degree that most people don’t need. Eh? EH! Magny on his bike here, front kicking away, trying to keep distance. Series of hands from Magny get through. Very measured. MEASURED. Any time they’re in the center of the cage, Magny is getting off first and landing at will. Magny rag dolled Kelvin down. Is Monterray at like super high? Or maybe super low? What’s the excuse for this one?
Magny is basically Being a Man here, just doing what he wants. The distance is really the key here. Kelvin has no answers for the long punches of Magny – who I thought was British for some reason. This is a bit ridiculous. Magny just kind of pushed Kelvin a lot and thatput him on his ass for a moment. Kelvin fighting like his head is elsewhere.
Fourth is the same. Magny simply staying outside and then out of nowhere Kelvin lands a HUGE punch that has Magny hurt bad. Magny is holding on very, very tight while on bottom. They stand and another punch drops Magny. He’s clearly feeling ill effects. Magny throws up his legs for a triangle, no go. Magny on his bike to end the round.
Kelvin with a TD. Momentum is definitely in his favor now. He’s pounding away. NO sense of urgency here; he’s taking his time. Magny gets up. Kelvin kicks the midsection well Magny punches the face section more well.Kelvin gets a TD and uses it well to finish the fight strong with a barrage of ground and pound.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Magny d. Gastelum, split dec
QUICK & DIRTY RESULTS UFC FIGHT NIGHT 78 FREE LIVE STREAM MAIN CARD – FS1 10/9/8/7
- Neil Magny d. Kelvin Gastelum, split dec
- Ricardo Lamas d. Diego Sanchez, dec
- Henry Cejudo d. Jussier Formiga, dec
- Enrique Marin vs. Erick Montano TUF Not-America WW Final
- Enrique Barzola vs. Horacio Gutierrez TUF Not-America LW Final
- Efrain Escudero vs. Leandro Silva
UFC FIGHT NIGHT 78 FREE LIVE STREAM PRELIMS on FS1 – 8/7/6/5
- Erik Perez d. Taylor Lapilus, dec
- Bartosz Fabinski d. Hector Urbina, dec
- Alejandro Perez d. Scott Jorgensen, TKO
- Andre Fili d. Gabriel Benitez, KO!!
UFC FIGHT NIGHT 78 FREE LIVE STREAM FIGHT PASS CARD 630/530/430/330
- Alvaro Herrera vs. Vernon Ramos
- Polo Reyes d. Cesar Arzamendia
- Valmir Lazaro vs. Michel Prazeres