We are super powerful here, as you all know. And that gives us TONS of access to the fighters. These are exclusive to us. They are in NO WAY just quotes supplied to us by the UFC. And they are in NO WAY deliberately cut up and taken out of context.
I promise.
Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m a liar. Maybe YOU are a liar! By the by, this chick fights for Bellator. UFC probably could’ve signed her but better off letting her prove herself, swoop in, sign her when she’s proven and … wait, WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS WITH PVZ?!?
Let’s get to the interviews…
Dustin Poirier Interview
How old are you?
I’m 27 years old
Been doing this long?
I’ve been in the game, fighting non-stop for nine years, this is my 18th appearance on the big stage and I’ve matured as a person.
You ever had sex?
I’m a father now.
So that’s a yes. Rumors are you’re secretly gay. True?
I’m comfortable with who I am, not that I didn’t believe in myself before, but now I know.
What’s the worst feeling with buttfucking?
I’m not all the way in like I was before.
Michael Johnson Interview
How you feel today?
I’m really excited to be here in Hidalgo.
You ever get a good massage?
My shoulders were really bad after the Diaz fight.
I take that as a yes. Blueberry pie is delicious, in some people’s estimation. I don’t like it though.
it’s just not a question.
Oh, right. My bad. Do you have a plan for life?
My plan coming in to this promotion was to leave at the top of this promotion. I’m coming out with the win in this one.
Uriah Hall Interview
Every banged a tranny? If so, how does it feel?
It feels good.
Weird how all my questions are just sophomoric and homophobic. You ever Netflix and Chill?
I’ve used this time [off] just to chill and see my family.
What a boss, you just skip the Netflix part. Non-stop boning. Big ups.
Using steroids is illegal except in unusual circumstances where a fighter has bribed someone…
I’m one of those rare cases.
GASP! You also called Brunson a dog. Why?
I threw Brunson a bone and he took it.
Derek Brunson Interview
Is this business or pleasure?
[This fight] is personal.
Is it because of the dog thing?
Just him running his mouth, being arrogant, being cocky – I joke and I play around, but I feel that he really believes what he says; I really don’t like that.
It was the dog thing. I think you got worked…
I’m doing this for the fans too.
Can anyone beat you?
For anyone to beat me in a fight, they’re going to have to get lucky.
Like, sexually?
I’m not saying they can’t get lucky
So, sexually. If someone wants to beat you, they have to have sex with someone. Maybe even you! You also lost to Kendall Grove once, I mean, come on…
Yoel Romero and Jacare were also lucky, for the record.
UFC Fight Night 94: Poirier vs. Johnson Card
- Bantamweight Alejandro Pérez vs. Albert Morales
- Welterweight Erick Montaño vs. Randy Brown
- Bantamweight José Alberto Quiñonez vs. Joey Gomez
- Middleweight Antônio Carlos Júnior vs. Leonardo Augusto Guimarães
- Welterweight Augusto Montaño vs. Belal Muhammad
- Featherweight Gabriel Benítez vs. Sam Sicilia
- Featherweight Chas Skelly vs. Maximo Blanco
- Lightweight Chris Wade vs. Islam Makhachev
- Welterweight Roan Carneiro vs. Kenny Robertson
- Lightweight Evan Dunham vs. Rick Glenn
- Middleweight Uriah Hall vs. Derek Brunson
- Lightweight Dustin Poirier vs. Michael Johnson
