Ant-Man comes out on Friday. Yes, this Friday. I’ll see it. I’m required by law to do so. I also like Paul Rudd. Remember how I couldn’t remember anything I’d ever seen with Ryan Reynolds? Well, I can barely remember a movie without Rudd in it. Which, well, isn’t terrible or anything.
Part of the Marvel hype machine is to remind you that, yes, a man who shrinks to the size of an ant and then talks to ants is important, so they are teasing the question: Will Ant Man join The Avengers? Because developing the ability to shrink to the size of an ant isn’t impressive enough for a scientist, he would logically think, “I should also figure out a way to communicate with insects. And then bend them to my will, making them do whatever I command.” Seriously, Ant-Man could be a B-Movie villain instead of a C-List level superhero that Marvel is determined to get over as a big deal. Again though, never forget: they did it with Guardians of the Galaxy. Which I think will just be Marvel’s excuse to do a movie of every possible property that has ever existed.
Marvel exec: Her name is Squirrel Girl and she looks like a person, but with a squirrel tail and a few other minor squirrel features. And she can talk with squirrels and stuff.
Disney Exec: Uh…
Marvel: Guardians. Of. The. Galaxy.
Disney: Sigh. Fine…
Anyways. The answer is, Yes, he’s going to join The Avengers. Because that’s how movies work with Marvel. No, that’s not a spoiler, unless you believe that I have insider knowledge at Marvel Movie Studios. Which would be cool and yet lame that that was the only scoop I ever got.
The clip. Right. An AVENGER shows up to talk to Ant-Man, which is presumably from the movie, and presumably from the end of the movie (or near it) which means I now know that Ant-Man will not die in the film which takes away A LOT of drama.
Directed by Peyton Reed, who is not Edgar Wright (Reed might as well just get business cards that say that because that’s how he’s going to be known for a while) and staring Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, and the chick from Lost, Ant Man opens Friday, July 17, 2015 of the year of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Savior.
Comments 2