The Tonight Show Produced The Most Nauseous Segment in TV History
October 9th, 2017 by Mike Coughlin
Studio 6B in Rockefeller Center
New York, New York
I try not to be overtly partisan with this here website of mine. Unlike our President, I’m aware that when you run the ship, you should know that your very presence can influence the crew. (Any of the staff reading this knows what an overwhelming feeling it can be to be around me.)
(Yes, that was a reference to his chiming in on the kneeling stuff. Speech can be chilled without a law being passed.)
But, just like how every late night comic now thinks so long as they talk very solemnly and choke back tears that they can then stop being funny and start being real, I can pretend this is so out there I must – MUST – break my rules.
Jeezuz, that’s self congratulatory. I just thought it was annoying and want to mock it. Fuck you if that’s too much for you. Fuck you. Fuck everything you hold dear to your heart. Fuck Arizona’s State anthem. Fuck your distorted childhood memories that you thought were cheerful but it turns out it’s not normal for Dad to yell and scream in public every single day. I think I went off track at the end there.
The Tonight Show made television history the other day when they produced the segment below: writers on the staff complimenting and consoling the human being who wanted to run the world. It is the worst thing ever done and I hope everyone involved understands this is why their career will stall and they’ll die anonymously having accomplished not just nothing but less than nothing because this will undo whatever came before and ensure nothing ever comes.
You wanna know why Hill-Dogg lost? It isn’t just her inability to campaign in swing states, it’s shit like this.
Imagine a TV show having its writers come out and do this and … I have to stop writing because it defies imagination. If I saw Tim Allen try to write this on his sitcom no one I knew ever watched but people pretended it’s cancellation was the end of all time, if he proposed this it wouldn’t make air because it would be unbelievable as parody.
You could tell the world was fucked when top universities were trying to comfort students with coloring books and puppies – this is the same line of thought.
You’re a grown woman who wanted the power to make the biggest decisions possible and you are either 1. so pathetic you need this or 2. viewed by your most ardent supporters as needing this.
Look, Trump is as thin skinned as it gets but at least he seems to try and fight his own battles. And even Trump will admit that sometimes he just fights. He’s almost proud of it and owns his pettiness, so to speak.
This, however, is emperor has no clothes type shit. And for all those immediately rejecting this because of our hyper-partisan atmosphere, so be it but know that in a few years you will 100% look back at this and cringe.
What Happened? This.
The Most Nauseous Segment in TV History