Montgomery County, PA-
Comedic legend Bill Cosby was sentenced to 3-10 years in a state prison on Tuesday. Judge Steven T. O’Neill made the ruling after Cosby was found guilty on three counts of felony aggravated indecent assault back in April.
Many weren’t sure if leniency would be shown to Cosby, who is of failing health at age 81, and who could have faced up to 30 consecutive years for the charges. The lighter sentence wasn’t the only way Judge O’Neill showed compassion to Cosby however.
He noted that conjugal visits will be permitted weekly from beautiful female fans who suffer from narcolepsy, a condition that causes people to fall asleep without any warning. Cosby’s attorneys asked for this privilege based on Cosby’s contribution to the community, and because he’s incredibly horny and needs to get that nut off to keep his circulation in tact.
“My client is pleased with the ruling. He’d like to thank Judge O’Neill for letting a player play.”
Camille Cosby could not be reached for a delusional comment.
Famed women’s rights attorney Gloria Allred who represented Cosby’s victims is said to be recovering nicely at a nearby hospital after suffering a fucking stroke when the Judge rendered his verdict.