ufc rankings

HALF-@$$ed UFC RANKINGS

December 1st, 2017 by Mike Coughlin

The Middle of an IRC Debate

The World of Violent Cage Fighting Sport

@HalfGuarded

 

I’ve never cared much for rankings.  When your top level fighters fight, what?, maybe 3 times a year – at best – what does it really mean to be ranked higher or lower?  And for a sport with far more fluke finishes than is typical, just getting a W doesn’t always mean much (See Matt Serra d. Georges St. Pierre).  Still, you people like rankings and folks like to debate them and I’m bored as shit so here we go.

 

In general, if you beat someone, you’re ranked above them unless there are extenuating circumstances. (i.e., Stefan Struve beat Stipe Miocic and Miocic has never avenged that loss but I’m not ranking Struve higher).  More recent activity is weighted more, though there aren’t algorithms or anything. And if two dudes haven’t fought and are near one another in general, I’ll probably pick the dude I think would win.  This is scientific, I know.  OH!  And if I think the division is really lacking (I’m looking at you, heavyweights and women’s featherweight), I’m just gonna rank as many as I feel is appropriate.

 

And I reserve the right to randomly change these based on nothing more than my womanly intuition.

 

By default, non-interim champions are listed first, interim champions are listed second, and dudes who have popped for stuff aren’t ranked while suspended, Jon Jones.

 

HALF-@$$ed UFC RANKINGS

 

miocic KO werdum gif

HEAVYWEIGHT

  1. Stipe Miocic (c)
  2. Fabricio Werdum
  3. Francis Ngannou
  4. Alistair Overeem
  5. Cain Velasquez
  6. Mark Hunt
  7. Derrick Lewis
  8. Alexander Volkov

 

We have a new star in Ngannou, who murdered Overeem and moves way up to 3rd.  Werdum keeps winning, Cain hasn’t fought in forever, and neither has anyone else.  Yeah.  It’s Stipe vs Big Black Man soon.

 

 

cormier vs johnson

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

  1. Daniel Cormier (c)
  2. Alexander Gustafsson
  3. Volkan Oezdemir
  4. Jimi Manuwa
  5. Mauricio Rua
  6. Ovince Saint Preux
  7. Glover Teixeira
  8. Misha Cirkunov
  9. Corey Anderson
  10. Ilir Latifi

 

Jon Jones is an idiot, boi bye. D.C. is the best by default. Gus is clearly #2. Everyone else is whatever. Volkan is where he is because he wins the darn fights and that’s all you can ask of a man. Unless Rumble returns, this is a two man division.

 

 

gsp taps bisping rear naked choke sub tap

MIDDLEWEIGHT

  1. Robert Whittaker (c)
  2. Yoel Romero
  3. Luke Rockhold
  4. Jacare Souza
  5. Chris Weidman
  6. Michael Bisping
  7. Anderson Silva
  8. Derek Brunson
  9. Kelvin Gastelum

 

Well, GSP is now a middleweight, and #1 in the world by default, and that’s weird.  Bisping drops down to #5 because, let’s face it: he was never super, duper great to start.  Curious if GSP defends the belt or not?  I hope for not because chaos is the way of the world now. GSP DROPS BELT BECAUSE HE IS A WIMPY MAN.

 

 

 

woodley ko lawler

WELTERWEIGHT

  1. Tyron Woodley (c)
  2. Robbie Lawler
  3. Stephen Thompson
  4. Demian Maia
  5. Rafael Dos Anjos
  6. Jorge Masvidal
  7. Carlos Condit
  8. Colby Covington
  9. Darren Till
  10. Kamaru Usman

 

Thompson solidified his ranking and so did Masvidal, in a way.

 

 

 

alvarez vs mcgregor

LIGHTWEIGHT

  1. Conor McGregor (c)
  2. Tony Ferguson (ic)
  3. Khabib Nurmagomedov
  4. Edson Barboza
  5. Eddie Alvarez
  6. Justin Gaethje
  7. Nate Diaz
  8. Kevin Lee
  9. Dustin Poirier
  10. Michael Johnson

 

Tony won himself a title that is as legit as any other interim belt, I suppose.

 

 

 

aldo vs holloway ko

FEATHERWEIGHT

  1. Max Holloway (c)
  2. Frankie Edgar
  3. Jose Aldo
  4. Ricardo Lamas
  5. Brian Ortega
  6. Chan Sung Jung
  7. Cub Swanson
  8. Yair Rodriguez
  9. Darren Elkins
  10. Jeremy Stephens

 

Dropped Aldo from 2 to 3, just because he keeps losing to Holloway.

 

 

 

TJ KO cody

BANTAMWEIGHT

  1. TJ Dillashaw (c)
  2. Dominick Cruz
  3. Cody Garbrandt
  4. Jimmie Rivera
  5. Raphael Assuncao
  6. John Lineker
  7. Bryan Caraway
  8. Aljamain Sterling
  9. Marlon Moraes
  10. John Dodson

 

Dillashaw crushed Cody and now the Bad Guy in Karate Kid needs to get his comeuppance.

 

 

 

mighty mouse ko joe benavidez

FLYWEIGHT

  1. Demetrious Johnson (c)
  2. Henry Cejudo
  3. Joseph Benavidez
  4. Ray Borg
  5. Sergio Pettis
  6. Jussier Formiga
  7. Wilson Reis
  8. Brandon Moreno
  9. Ben Nguyen
  10. Tim Elliott

 

This is DJ and then 9 Guaranteed Losses. I have a new challenge for DJ: become the first man to have a win over every single person in a top ten.

 

 

 

cris cyborg ko gina carano

WOMEN’S FEATHERWEIGHT

  1. Cris Cyborg (c)
  2. LOL (Holly Holm, by default?)

 

 

 

amanda nunes ko ronda rousey

WOMEN’S BANTAMWEIGHT

  1. Amanda Nunes (c)
  2. Valentina Shevchenko
  3. Holly Holm
  4. Raquel Pennington
  5. Julianna Pena
  6. Ketlen Vieira
  7. Sara McMann
  8. Ronda Rousey
  9. Cat Zingano

 

I see the top five as somewhat interchangeable. The rest aren’t close. At least she has a good husband. You know who…

 

 

 

WOMEN’S FLYWEIGHT

  1. Nicco Montaño
  2. Roxanne Modafferi
  3. LOL

 

 

rose KO joanna champion

STRAWWEIGHT

  1. Rose Namajunas (c)
  2. Joanna Jedrzejczyk
  3. Jessica Andrade
  4. Claudia Gadelha
  5. Karolina Kowalkiewicz
  6. Tecia Torres
  7. Michelle Waterson
  8. Cynthia Calvillo
  9. Carla Esparza
  10. Felice Herrig

 

I once wondered if JJ would ever be truly challenged and now I wonder what we all wonder: will she return and win?

 

demetrious johnson mighty mouse wins gif

POUND FOR POUND

  1. Demetrious Johnson
  2. Georges St. Pierre
  3. Max Holloway
  4. Conor McGregor
  5. Daniel Cormier
  6. Robert Whittaker
  7. TJ Dillashaw
  8. Stipe Miocic
  9. Frankie Edgar
  10. Tyron Woodley
  11. Dominick Cruz

*Women are not ranked alongside men.  Our rankings understand Sharia.

 

The gulf between DJ and #2 is as wide as any you’d find at a porn convention – that was true until GSP did what he did and now who knows. Cody drops off and TJ drops in.

 

BUY UFC STUFF

6 Responses to “HALF-@$$ed UFC RANKINGS”

September 21, 2017 at 2:58 pm, SANDY WEXLER 2 (2019) NEWS, RUMORS, SPOILER, and RELEASE DATE said:

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September 22, 2017 at 2:53 pm, THE DO OVER 2 (2019) NEWS, RUMORS, SPOILER, and RELEASE DATE said:

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October 01, 2017 at 4:56 pm, HAPPY GILMORE 2 (2019) NEWS, RUMORS, SPOILER, and RELEASE DATE said:

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October 04, 2017 at 8:44 am, Max Holloway vs Frankie Edgar for UFC Title Scheduled for Detroit, MI - HalfGuarded.com said:

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