H&M Apologizes for Racist picture of black child, vows to create more offensive images to even things out.

January 11th, 2018 by Chris Najdek

England (I think)



After the controversy over a black child wearing a hooded sweatshirt that said “Coolest Monkey In The Jungle”, designers have vowed to create more racist and offensive shirts and have them worn by a child of the group they are offending.


“We feel this will even things out so the Blacks will get off our backs.” Said one of the terrible PR directors at H&M


Halfguarded has the exclusive new set of shirt sayings and the corresponding race, creed, or sexual orientation they will be assigned to.


Asian Child “Mommy’s favorite little Rice Patty.”


Hispanic Child “Fastest Pick Pocket in my school!!”


Jewish Child (a picture of a bird singing “CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEEEEP!”


Arab Child “I’m the bomb!”


Indian Child “My Dad Bought This for Me at the store he owns and still negotiated himself up on the fucking price!!”


Gay Child “Designed this shirt all by myself!”


Gender Fluid Child “????????”


Trans Child “Heads or Tails?”


Child of an Anti Vaxxer parent “I don’t feel so good.”


And finally


White Child “It’s Good to Be White!”


We here at halfguarded applaud H&M for taking this countries inclusion and diversity ideologies and applying them to their business and marketing strategies.


Associated Parodies

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