In yet another example of the fine managerial excellence that Michael Coughlin has honed over the years, on Sunday, September 22, 2019, he won the Hotz Friends Fantasy Baseball league. This is Mike’s 4th overall title and third in the last five years. He rode the strong pitching of Justin Verlander for most of the season, surviving the disaster of Giancarlo Stanton’s world’s ever year in the process. Heck, even did all this while having the second to last spot in the draft – truly, he is a man amongst men and next year: he goes for five.
At this time, I repeat from the last time I won it all:
“[Expletive] you people. I am a golden god and I will never lose again,” Coughlin screamed as police tackled him to the balcony floor, his penis still spraying like a wild firehose.
“Deny it all you want, you know this matters!”