An Old Folks’ Home
This is a slow as fuck week. It’s extra slow because I’m in beautiful Sioux Falls, SD. FML. I’m visiting family, which is a good thing, but currently am with my 96 year old grandma in her nursing home. Every cliche is true: It’s hot as fuck in here, everyone’s tv is loud, and it kinda smells. All I’ve been doing is watching Jeopardy and Ellen – she was impressed that I was so good at the former.
This is what passes for news, because I figure I need to give y’all some:
Jessy Jess, Jessica Rose Clark, who put a beating on Bec Rawlings last weekend is going to have another short turn around. She’s going to fight the UFC’s most put upon female, the woman whose life has been a war: Paige VanZant.
I’ve been big on Jessy before she was on anyone’s radar (I think she has cute eyes) so this fight could be as fun as that time Rose beat the yeast out of PVZ’s worn out crotch.
The other news is that John Lineker will fight Jimmie Rivera at UFC 219. Lineker will replace the always injured Dominik Cruz.
— John Lineker (@johnlineker) November 21, 2017
Lady Cyborg vs Holly Holm, who I imagine has a massive clit for some reason, still headlines.
Oh, and Colby Covington keeps pissing people off, including Tyron Woodley who seems oblivious to the fact that by calling Colby a clown you’re giving him what he wants.
.@Twooodley has to be stripped of the title for Conduct Unbecoming of @UFC Champ. Since I became Undisputed #1 Contender of Earth Tyrone has faked a labrum injury, defiantly declared 185 his next bout, then retracted back to 170 but against 155 gatekeeper. #scaredbitch @danawhite https://t.co/clrROH4YYE
— Colby Covington (@ColbyCovMMA) November 21, 2017
ALL HAIL COLBY COVINGTON, OUR GOD FOR THE NEXT ERA.
Seriously, people, I’m fucking sweating in this place and my glasses want to fog up.