A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….”
Japan has given the world rust-proof cars, well-made electronics, and soon a perfect sex doll. But until that sex doll arrives* we’ll have to make due with A JAPANESE STAR WARS 8 TRAILER!
They say, “international” but that implies, to me, just one trailer for all of not-America whereas this one is clearly designed for the Japanese men and women who didn’t die during World War 2.
*Hurry the fuck up, Fed-Ex
This is How They Rock STAR WARS EPISODE VIII: THE LAST JEDI Trailers in Japan
(some of the) Star Wars Episode VIII: THE LAST JEDI Cast
– Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker. You’ve probably heard of him.
– The Ghost of Carrie Fisher as General Leia Organa.
– Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. Likely eats ass in his personal life.
– Daisy Ridley as Rey. She’s a she. That’s important to people.
– John Boyega as Finn. He’s also black, which is important.
– Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron. He’s … not white (?) … which is also important.
– Lupita Nyong’o as Maz Kanata. I find this character boring.
– Domhnall Gleeson as General Hux. I think this is a generic looking old white guy.
– Anthony Daniels as C-3PO. A gay robot bottom.
– Gwendoline Christie as Captain Phasma.
– Andy Serkis as Supreme Leader Snoke. He’ll never win an Oscar.
– Benicio del Toro as an unnamed character. What? That’s how Wikipedia referred to him.
– Laura Dern as Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo. No clue who this is.
– Kelly Marie Tran as Rose Tico, “a member of the Resistance who works in maintenance.” Garbageman is the preferred nomenclature.
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