After a very tense meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, President Trump made it clear he will shut the government down if the Democrats don’t vote to build his famed wall at the Mexican border.
Democrats aren’t the only ones to feel the wrath of Trump’s threat as Halfguarded has obtained a copy of Trump’s Christmas list to Santa and St. Nick is also under pressure to deliver for the president:
For Christmas this year I want a pony. I’ve been asking for years and you’ve yet to deliver. I’m a great man and I deserve a pony, the best pony, a tremendous pony. I’ve been a very good boy and the best president any country has ever seen to be quite frank.
This is your last chance to get me the pony or I will be shutting down trade with the North Poll. They’ll be huge tariffs that your business will not be able to withstand. The North Poll’s government will get no more funding from me!!! Consider Christmas in the United States finished. See how far you get trying to deliver presents to Godless Muslims and Jews around the world. I’ve been very tough on China and I’ll do the same to you.
I WANT MY PONY! I live at 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C. in the big White House because I’m the president. I’ll leave out your favorite cookies and milk, just bring me my pony. No other gifts, I have everything, I’m very rich. So don’t load me up with a bunch of other presents, no smock and mirrors!
Also remember if you enter the United States from Mexico you will be fired upon. America gets their presents first!
P.S. I also want an iTunes gift card so I can get xxxTentacion’s last album. Please leave that in my stoking.”